To God be the Glory, Great Things He Has Done!

A Stone of Remembrance...

A place to go back to, to remember what came before and to think on what is ahead. A time to give thanks for the great blessings the LORD has given us. A time to rejoice in His Sovereignty. To KNOW that He is God. A time to weep and mourn that which is lost, and yet, rejoice for it is not truly gone but made perfect in Heaven.

Someday soon our family will all be reunited once more. My sons long for the day they will be with their sisters. They miss the joy and laughter the girls filled our home with, pink, tutus, flowers, dresses. I miss the companionship of my girls, their sweet hands and joyful hearts. We miss the difference that having boys and girls brings. But, we hold on to the hope that God knows all this. He ministers to our hearts in the quiet and whispers the promise of a better day.

I was thinking of how God created the world in 6 days and then had a day of rest, the 7th. Maybe this year is our day of rest.

God has brought such deep healing in so many areas and it has been such a long painful process. Jeremy was reading in John of the fields being ripe for harvest but the workers are few. God also spoke a word of blessing to me from Joel. “He has given the early rain for your vindication; he has poured down for you abundant rain, the early and the latter rain, as before...I will restore to you the years the the locust have eaten.” A paraphrase but really what God has repeatedly spoken over us and into our lives these past few years.

Jeremy and I have both at multiple times felt like Eustace in the Voyage of the Dawn Treader, realizing that he cannot make himself good and right and remove the sin from his life, only Aslan (GOD) can free him. “I was afraid of his claws, I can tell you, but I was pretty nearly desperate. So I now lay down on my back to let him do it.

The first tear He made was so deep that I thought it had gone right through into my heart. And when He began pulling my skin off, it hurt worse than anything I’ve ever felt. The only thing that made me able to bear it was the pleasure of seeing the stuff peel off.” C.S.Lewis said in another of his books a similar quote, “He (GOD) only cuts as deep as He needs to accomplish what He needs to accomplish.”

Late fall ’10 we went on an RV trip around the western United States. (Thanks to our friends in Temecula, CA, Duke and Jonell) It was such a great time for our family. God opened up so many doors for us to share our testimonies and the work that He has done in our lives over the past 6 years. At one of the churches we shared deeply what had happened and how we were healing. Our boys sat in the front row and wept. Afterwards one of them took Jeremy aside and recommitted his life to Jesus! What a blessing. It was so hard to see them walk through it all again but I know God’s timing is perfect. We are very open with the boys about what happened and try to answer their questions as they come up, often at random times and inappropriate moments:) We know that those are the most appropriate moments though and try to make it work. We realized after sharing that Sunday that although we hadn’t skirted the issue they still have deep wounds that only God can heal. They know that life would be very different if their sisters were here. We all know that in His sovereignty God had a different plan for our days here on earth.

I am doing a Bible study with some friends and the subject of Story keeps coming up. We all have a story. God has called us to share our story. I have had trouble sharing my side of the story because there is no happy ending. The girls don’t come back to life, I have to figure out how to go on with out them, brothers are left without sisters, Jeremy and I struggle to be present with each other and with our children. We long at times to escape. Yet the truth is the girls were rescued. They are more alive than ever.

Many people had dreams after the girls died that were very similar, three girls dancing in white dresses, in a beautiful building or field of flowers, with Jesus Himself looking on in approval and love. “Girls in white dresses with blue satin sashes...” one of my favorite lines from Sound of Music. I must choose daily to see the rescue and rest in the Hope of the Rescuer.

One day while reading of baptism I was struck by the fact that my girls were baptized in the truest sense. They were buried with Him in baptism and raised to walk in newness of life. As I sit here on my couch and look out the window I see the mountain that rises up from their burial spot. It has a chute, Jeremy and I often had looked at it and said, “wouldn’t it be fun to sled down that!” but now we both see it as a line going up. One day we looked out and a rainbow stood right over it. All the little things, the ways God has given us Hope and Comfort.

The comfort we have received from the LORD has ministry in view. He gave this comfort for us, to bring healing but then also for you. We never know how words we speak can bring healing and desire to someone else’s life. We are to rejoice in suffering because it is in that suffering and healing that God will reveal His glory! Wow, what a promise. Never have I felt closer to God then during those dark and lonely days. Sometimes I wonder what the little boys were doing during that time. How did they make it? But then I see how God Himself was ministering to all of us at the same time in the unique ways that we needed. Redemptive truths are invigorated when shared by those who have walked through it.

Peru! March 17-30, 2011

About a week ago the twins, Callen and Taylor and I were invited to join a mission trip from Soldotna, Ak going to Peru. We will be going to minister at an orphanage and training school in Ayacucho, along with my sister-in-law and 4 of her children. We are so excited to have been given this opportunity. Jeremy often gets to take the boys on big adventures into the wilds of Alaska but it is rare that I get the chance to do something like this with them. When this trip came up I realized what an opportunity it could be for us to learn and grow together. Every time we travel I am overwhelmed by what I have here at home, clean water, beautiful scenery, warm house and friends. The boys are 10 now, I think this will be quite an eye opener for them as well. They are anxious to meet the children of Peru. Taylor told me today it is going to be hard meeting these kids without families and not bringing them home with us. I agree. I would like to take some handmade blankets and knit hats over to the children so if that is something you would like to join me it I would love it. We would need the items in Soldotna by 3/14/11. The address is Jenny Smithwick P.O. Box 4163 Soldotna, Ak 99669. I am writing to ask you to join me in making this possible. We will be leaving on the 17th of March and returning the 31st. It is a huge time commitment for me as well as those who will be helping Jeremy with our little three. Thank YOU!!

If you are able to partner with us your donation can be sent to our local church (Lake Clark Bible Church Gen. Del. Port Alsworth, Ak 99653) and you will receive a tax deductible receipt. If you can join us in praying for our time overseas we would really appreciate an email or snail mail letting us know that as well. I am not a big traveler and this is a bit scary for me so any prayers will be gratefully accepted.

To be truthful this all seems quite impossible to me. That we could raise the money, get the passports, visas, blankets and hats and all other items in order in just a months time. A.W. Tozer wrote something that keeps putting me back in my place though and I quote, "God is looking for people through whom He can do the impossible. What a pity when we plan only the things we can do by ourselves."